Saturday, September 30, 2006

Another Sub

I've had a "blue" day, depressed about multiple things--finances (there's never, ever enough), my age, weight gain, my sloppy housekeeping and my inability to accomplish everything I set out to accomplish every day (there's simply not enough of me to go around). God that looks and sounds whiney, doesn't it?

Being 41 hasn't bothered me a great deal until just recently. I'm not unhappy with my life in general and I'm fortunate to be well loved by a devoted husband, but I'm feeling the shift in perspective. People don't notice me as that cute little woman with the serious blue eyes and the quick, dry sense of humor. Now I'm just an over-weight middle aged woman who looks unhappy.

Interestingly this mood followed a long session of editing a story about sadness and tears. I subbed "Pomegranate" to a Sci-fi/fantasy magazine. It's been a hard one to place. Over and over, I've gotten comments from editors like "strong work, but not what we're looking for". It's not literary enough to make the literary editors happy and it's not sci-fi (fantasy?) enough to get the attention of that market either. I tweaked it a little this time--gave away more than I wanted to--to see if this improves its chances. I hate giving away my intent.

It doesn't help that it's a story about a woman's tears being a force of nature. Women crying make men uncomfortable and many of the editors who've read it are--you got it--men. My husband isn't crazy about it either.

We'll see what happens there. Now I really am out of material to sub (if I resubbed "Sun Dogs" aka "True Life" like I think I did).

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