Friday, February 02, 2007

Too much husband

I've not posted anything in about a week, largely because I've not really had anything to say. I'm running a little depressed, but it will pass.

My husband is home a lot at the moment--we were lucky this week--he got to work a whole three days. I like this person quite a bit, preferring his company to that of other people and trusting him completely with myself--or myself completely with him, depending on how you look at it. He is head and shoulders above most other people, in my estimation.

However . . . I really need him to go back to work . . . as soon as possible, for the sake of our marriage. This isn't just about finances (that's a completely different issue and why I'm up at four-thirty in the morning). This is about getting too much of a good thing.

In the last three weeks I've rediscovered his most irritating quality and it's going to cause blood shed at this rate. If he decides I'm wrong about something, he interrupts me to correct me--often in front of the kids, he changes the channel in the middle of X-files (and refuses to put it back because I've seen them all before, he says), screws up my computer and invades my office without regard to what I'm doing and never gives me a straight answer without making me pay the toll (I get to wade through fifteen minutes of smart-ass comments and replies). On top of that, he seems to delight in waiting until I leave home and breaking simple safety rules I've put in place to keep the kids and animals safe.

Anyway, I have a husband for hire if anyone out there needs snow shoveled, or plumbing repaired or ditches dug. I'll pay to ship him to you as long as you return him in good condition when you're done with him. He eats a lot, but he's an appreciative consumer, and he's relatively quiet if you give him a good book or a tv to watch.

By the way, on Howard's suggestion, I'm reading "Generations" by Pattiann Rogers. She's probably one of the best poets I've read in a long time. More on her tomorrow. I've also just finished a paperback by Eileen Dryer called "Sinners and Saints"--rather good. More on that later too.


Anonymous said...

Hooray for blogs to keep us sane, heh. Write a poem about strangling the people you love, I dare you.

Scotty said...

Go and rearrange his shed or study. When he asks why you've done that, tell him you did it on the same principle that let him go through your stuff. When he asks you a question, give him a simple yes or no response. When he asks why you're doing that, well, I'm sure you could think of something. Pester him for sex when he's channel surfing. For his next meal, give him a can of tuna, a tomato, a lettuce leaf, and a radish. When he asks, tell him it's fish and salad; some assembly required...


Andrew McAllister said...

Hmmm... are there obedience classes for husbands?

Andrew (To Love, Honor, and Dismay)

Mary O. Paddock said...

Nic--Yes indeedy, it's nice to have a place to vent.

Thanks for the smile Scotty. I really, really like that last one--very tempting.

Hi Andrew. I've sometimes wondered. Nice site, by the way.

Hedgie said...

Just wait til he retires and is there all the time. That's one of the things that contributed significantly to my own divorce. Really.

Mary O. Paddock said...

I've already concluded that he's never going to be allowed to retire.