Friday, June 25, 2010

Additional Notes From an Armchair Fugitive

A couple of days ago I was watching an old Harrison Ford movie "The Fugitive" and as he made a narrow escape, fleeing a bevy of law enforcement as he exited a hospital, I commented that he should take off the coat he was wearing.

Why? asked one of the boys.

Because the last thing the cops saw him in was that coat and changing the most noticeable thing about him will make him harder to track in a crowd.

My husband tilted his head, left eye brow rising as he turned to look at me. "You really do spend time thinking about these things, don't you?"

Well. Yeah. And?

About a year and a half ago I penned a blog entry entitled  Armchair Fugitive in which I gave advice to those on the lam. Sadly, it appears that few fugitives have read this entry as they continue get caught doing the silliest things . Which is why my blog should be required reading for all those thinking of becoming fugitives. I know stuff that could help them. Unlike them, I have the time to think about these things--and do.

However today one resourceful individual apparently got as far as point number two (change your appearance). The last law enforcement saw him, he had shed his black and white jumpsuit in favor of his shiny white BVDs as he was sprinting away. I know the layout behind this police station somewhat as I drive through it to get to a local grocery store. It's a residential area peppered with small businesses, homes, and churches--great places for very short term hiding places. If he's smart, he had an escape route, knows which buildings or empty, or a home he could go to. If he's smarter, he had a stash of clothes hidden nearby (by that loyal--but maybe not too bright--friend I mentioned before)  and is long gone. And if he's even smarter--he's covered up all those tattoos--especially the one of the gun on his forearm (On a side note: why don't bad guys ever have tattoos of kittens and butterflies?). In truth, I suspect he's none of the above. My prediction? For real? They'll have him by noon tomorrow.

As for the police station he escaped from and the cops therein? They probably deserve a blog entry all to themselves. One entitled "Unemployment and You" as this particular fugitive was (apparently) left unattended in the exercise yard and the escape was phoned in by someone who saw him running down the street. Think about if folks--someone had to tell them that their man had escaped. Don't you feel all safe and warm in your bed?

Nah. Me either.


***Disclaimer-- This blog is written for entertainment purposes only. If the offenses this guy is accused of are true (and they probably are) I hope they catch him soon. 


Scotty said...

Protect and serve, eh, Mary? Makes you wonder if some of our law enforcement officers aren't overdue for their own Darwin Award...


Debby said...

I think you should become a cop, Mary.

Mary O. Paddock said...

Scotty--Sometimes I think so.

Debby--When I was younger (pre-teen) I thought being a detective on a police force would be cool.