Thursday, August 30, 2018

Driving Miss Mary

Dear Google,

I appreciate that you have a new feature that helps people be on time by telling them when it's time to leave. But you have a strange idea as to how long it takes to get places in this part of the country.

For instance, it is 22 miles from my home to the school district I'm working at today. It does not take an hour and ten minutes to get to here to there, even if I make time for an extra-long prayer (math in middle school), sing along with the entire soundtrack from The Greatest Showman, and sip my coffee as I wind my way through the steep, curving roads between here and there. This is even when you take my typical rate of speed into account. According to the men in my family, it's an exasperated "do you want me to drive" mph.

So thank you. But I think I'll leave my standard fifteen minutes earlier than everybody else (Yes. Yes, you can drive me there if you want to).

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